when the change "takes forever"
Dreams have always been a huge indicator for me of where I'm at under the surface, and this week I had a dream where I was standing in my childhood family bathroom, gleefully cutting my hair into a bob, explaining to my daughter as I pulled strands taught to my scissors that it was no big deal, it was simply time for the change to happen.
Even though I have no real plans to cut my hair, the symbolism felt ripe: I am ready for a deeply internal identity shift, and it's happening.
You might be thinking - um, yeah dude. Isn't that your whole thing? Your identity shifted when you rearranged your whole life in 2022 and got a divorce, closed your beloved second-hand store and restarted everything?
I thought that too!
So often we perceive the leap into the unknown (for me, ending my marriage) as the moment our identity shifts. But the truth is, that is always just the start. Yes - something has to shift inside for that jump to even happen. But the weeks, months, and very much THE YEARS that come after that outward jump are where the true identity shift solidifies.
People ask me all the time, "How do I get the confidence to ____?" (Leave my job, speak my mind, pursue what I really want, change my life around, etc.) and the truth is, in the beginning it's not confidence you need. It's honestly more... inspiration, desperation, and maybe even a splash of stupidity.
Because if you really knew what forming the identify that is truly CONFIDENT about all that would include, you'd probably never jump.
I have spent the last three years in various degrees of meandering to my new life. Experiencing big wins and big flails. I didn't jump into a new life because I felt confident about what I could do. I did it because I knew I couldn't spend another second doing what I was doing.
Three years after committing HARD to show up for myself through thick and thin, I'm finally having the symbolic dreams of cutting my hair (letting my old self go). This pic of me is in the first year I made the choice to change who I was going to be, realizing....oh, this is actually a process, not a static choice. Cool cool cool.
Metaphorically, I was someone who had never walked a day in her life and needed work from all angles to be running marathons. Waking up one day deciding I wanted to run marathons didn't make me a runner. Getting help from a trainer, changing my nutrition, focusing on my sleep, doing the work and showing up did. (still in the metaphor here, I'm not running real marathons, I'm running life marathons, lol)
So the next time you think, "I don't have the confidence to make this change," you're right - you probably don't. But you'll build it on the way, dude.
Thanks for being here! Always love to hear from you so don't be a stranger. See below for important announcements! Love you, mean it.
In your corner,
Jolie
fall coaching enrollment is open
I'm currently booking calls for those interested in beginning a three month coaching container with me! I just welcomed another client last week, have a few calls next week, and have room for 2 more women looking for genuine, life changing support to outgrow the shit that is holding you back.
When I tell you I get emails, texts, and DMs from my former clients every week - I'm not kidding. If you are ready to gain clarity on want, genuine trust in yourself, and confidence to help you make moves in life, let's talk soon - click the button below to schedule.
mini retreat early bird pricing is live!
I am hosting my first ever retreat in my home next month on Saturday September 13th. I'm so, so thrilled to be able to connect with a small group of women here in Columbus on an intimate level. I'm not holding back anything on this even and you don't want to miss it - peaceful, impactful half day at my home with home cooked food, guided integration and gift bags.
Early bird pricing ends August 30th and the twelve spots available have begun selling so make sure you grab your spot. You can read ALL about it below, or respond to this email if you have questions about it!
